Silent Long Enough - Katrina

During the time Katrina hit, ironically, my children were with Heath’s parents in Disneyland. That was also the week I has ALL FOUR of my wisdom teeth pulled.

First a little about me…

Some know that I am not your typical American Christian. I usually vote democrat; in fact, I am a registered democrat. I strongly believe in social reform such as education for ALL children (regardless of citizenship). Public healthcare. Rehabilitation for non-violent criminals - instead of prison. And I am pro-life in every sense of the word. I don’t believe abortion is okay, but I also don’t believe in war or the death penalty.

So…

When Kanye West said, “George Bush hates black people.” I, for one, understood his message. I don’t necessarily believe that this is an issue purely about race, though. It’s mainly about the poor. And let’s face it, African Americans make up a huge portion of that class. We sweep them under the rug and pretend they don’t exist, but they do exist, they do! The attitudes of Americans - and perhaps the world – towards the poor is disdain and fear. Sometimes we accuse the condition of the poor to be of their own making – they’re lazy, they don’t want to work. I don’t believe this is how God looks upon the poor. If anything poverty stirs up compassion and action in God.

Deut. 15:7. If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any of the towns of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.

The poor of New Orleans did not have any way of getting out of that doomed city, nor were they offered any assistance for days on end. We can spend billions of dollars on rebuilding a country thousands of miles and way, and we can’t even offer Americans a lift out of targeted city or provide basic needs for survival.

I agree that we need to do all that we can do to help. Donate money, time, and prayers. However, it is imperative that we look at went wrong here. We need to point fingers to promote change in the system. There were gaps on all levels of government, local, state and federal. That is a HUGE problem, and one that needs to be handled so that those who are less fortunate are not forgotten and left in harms way again.

Luke 1:52 "He has brought down rulers from their thrones, and has exalted those who were hungry. He has filled the hungry with good things; and sent away the rich empty-handed."

Can you honestly say that you weren’t disturbed by the images of the young, helpless children and babies who for THREE DAYS did not receive ANY assistance?

I try hard not to share my political views simply because most people I know do not share my outlook, and that is okay. The fact still remains, we have been called to serve the poor. Protecting those who lead are nation in the name of God and then turn their backs on the poor is shameful.

And for those of you who say, “Well, there will always be poor people, and there is not much we can do about it”:

Prov. 29:7. The righteous is concerned for the rights of the poor; the wicked does not understand such concern.

Prov. 14:31. He who oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, but he who is gracious to the needy honors Him.

Mt. 25:31-46. "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. And all the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on His left.
Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.'
Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite you in, or naked, and clothe You? And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'
And the King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'
Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.'
Then they themselves will also answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?'
Then He will answer them, saying, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

Testimony Of A Former Porn Actress

The Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn

Sex-packed porn films featuring freshly-dyed blondes whose evocative eyes say “I want you” is quite possibly one of the greatest deceptions of all time. Trust me, I know. I did it all the time and I did it for the lust of power and the love of money. I never liked sex. I never wanted sex and in fact I was more apt to spend time with Jack Daniels than some of the studs I was paid to “fake it” with. That’s right none of us freshly-dyed blondes like doing porn. In fact, we hate it. We hate being touched by strangers who care nothing about us. We hate being degraded with their foul smells and sweaty bodies. Some women hate it so much you can hear them vomiting in the bathroom between scenes. Others can be found outside smoking an endless chain of Marlboro lights…
But the porn industry wants YOU to think we porn actresses love sex. They want you to think we enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts. The truth, porn actresses have showed up on the set not knowing about certain requirements and were told by porn producers to do it or leave without being paid. Work or never work again. Yes, we made the choice. Some of us needed the money. But we were manipulated and coerced and even threatened. Some of us caught HIV from that coercion. I personally caught Herpes, a non-curable sexually transmitted disease. Another porn actress went home after a long night of numbing her pain and put a pistol to her head and pulled the trigger. Now she’s dead.
It’s safe to say most women who turn to porn acting as a money-making enterprise, probably didn’t grow up in healthy childhoods either. Indeed, many actresses admit they’ve experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents. Some were raped by relatives and molested by neighbors. When we were little girls we wanted to play with dollies and be mommies, not have big scary men get on top of us. So we were taught at a young age that sex made us valuable. The same horrible violations we experienced then, we relive through as we perform our tricks for you in front of the camera. And we hate every minute of it. We’re traumatized little girls living on anti-depressants, drugs and alcohol acting out our pain in front of YOU who continue to abuse us.
As we continue to traumatize ourselves by making more adult films, we use more and more drugs and alcohol. We live in constant fear of catching AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases. Every time there’s an HIV scare we race to the nearest clinic for an emergency checkup. Pornographers insist giving viewers the fantasy sex they demand all the while sacrificing the very ones who make it happen. In other words, no condoms allowed. Herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, and other diseases are the normal anxieties we walk around with daily. We get tested monthly but we know testing isn’t prevention. Besides worrying about catching diseases from porn sex, there are other harmful activities we engage in that are also very dangerous. Some of us have had physical tearing and damage to internal body parts.
When porn actresses call it a day and head home we attempt to have normal healthy relationships but some of our boyfriends get jealous and physically abuse us. So instead we marry our porn directors while others of us prefer lesbian relationships. It’s a real memory making moment when our daughter accidentally walks out and sees mommy kissing another girl. My daughter will vouch for that one.
On our days off we walk around like zombies with a beer in one hand and a shot of whiskey in the other. We aren’t up to cleaning so we live in filth most of the time or we hire a sweet foreign lady to come in and clean up our mess. Porn Actresses aren’t the best cooks either. Ordering food in is normal for us and most of the time we throw up after we eat because we’re bulimic.
For porn actresses who have children, we are the world’s WORST mothers. We yell and scream and hit our kids for no reason. Most of the time we are intoxicated or high and our four year olds are the ones picking us up off the floor. When clients come over for sex, we lock our children in their rooms and tell them to be quiet. I use to give my daughter a beeper and tell her to wait at the park until I was finished.
The truth is there IS NO fantasy in porn. It’s all a lie. A closer look into the scenes of a porn star’s life will show you a movie porn doesn’t want you to see. The real truth is we porn actresses want to end the shame and trauma of our lives but we can’t do it alone. We need you men to fight for our freedom and give us back our honor. We need you to hold us in your strong arms while we sob tears over our deep wounds and begin to heal. We want you throw out our movies and help piece together the shattered fragments of our lives. We need you to pray for us the next fifteen years so God will hear and repair our ruined lives.
So don’t believe the lie anymore. Porn is nothing more than fake sex and lies on videotape. Trust me, I know.
by Shelley Lubben – Former Porn Actress
Dedicated to all the porn actresses who caught HIV, died from drug overdose and committed suicide.

Beyond, Beyond, Beyond

I enjoy reading Alex McManus' posts. I especially his latest one. We are so led by what the world tells us to see that we cannot see beyond what we have been taught to see.

I come from a background of meaningless observations, critiques and debates on theology, eschatology, doctrine and dogma. The very thought of seeing beyond all that is so refreshing. God directs us not so much through our intellect but through our utter dependence on Him...when we give up and see beyond the streets, buildings, cars and televisions. I believe that through our dependence on the Lord we are able to move beyond the world's answers, the world's ways, the world.

On another, slightly different note...

This weekend Heath and I watched "Contact" starring Jodie Foster. While it is not my favorite movie (one that reveals how bad of an actor Matthew McConaughey truly is), there is a part in the movie that I imagine we might say when we truly see God. She travels to Vega through a wormhole and looks out the window to see the most amazing, most beautiful "celestial event".

"Some...celestial event. No! No words! NO words...to describe it!
Poetry! They should have sent a poet! It's so beautiful! I have no idea. I have no idea."

She gives up her notions of the universe. She gives up "science". She just gives up. Thinking about it gives me the chills. Here's a woman who has been portrayed as an agnostic scientist who comes to the realization that there is something so much bigger than herself and the earth. Can you imagine what our lives would be like if we saw the face of God?